Yeah, I used one of those stupid things-to-know web headlines, and it goes against my grain as a journalist, but study after study says that's what people click on, so call me assimilated.
Visited
Netherworld in Norcross, Ga., tonight with my teenage daughter. It's still as impressive as ever, and anyone who is even remotely interested in haunted houses or horror (or fun) should consider a trip. But get there quick. It's only open a couple of more weeks. Now, without further adieu, five things:
1) It's the best haunted house in America. Or so
Netherworld claims. I haven't been to one that even comes close, but I can't imagine any haunt being much better. If there is one that tops it, it's probably in minute degrees, like saying the second glass from a bottle of Lafite Rothschild was better than the first. The effects, costumes and design are all movie quality, or at least close. Tons of jump scares, creep factor, noise and atmosphere, and it's a long walk through it. You get your money's worth. But speaking of long walks ...
2) Be prepared to wait. Netherworld gets more crowded the closer it gets to Halloween. Traffic is heavy and parking sucks. If you don't get there very early, expect to park in a gypsy lot for $10 a good walk away. The lines for tickets and to get into the haunts are long and get longer as the night goes on. (Halloween night will be ridiculous.) The staff tries very hard to keep the lines moving, but it's like herding cattle through chutes.
Once you're in a haunt, you're pretty much at the mercy of the people in front of you. One slowpoke or fraidy cat who freezes up backs up the line like an old lady in the fast lane on the freeway. The last time I went they actually broke people up into groups and put gaps between them. They still try to do that, but it's a lost cause. Just too many people.
The good news is, the show starts in the parking lot, so you won't get
bored. Fully costumed monsters are on the prowl, both scaring people and
gladly posing for pictures. Plus you can get your picture made in a coffin
or sitting in an electric chair.
3) For gorehounds, Vault 13 is better than The Rotting. Netherworld is actually
two haunted houses. The main haunt, The Rotting, is the longer of the two and the more elaborate. It is full of monsters, bugs, rats, old witches, skeletons -- most of your standard Halloween fare. And I got genuinely startled several times. A couple of things they do well are misdirection and hiding the live
actors. One second, you're watching some automaton ghost shaking and
laughing maniacally at your feet and Boom! a monster jumps out from
above your head. And sometimes they even brush against you or follow you for several feet.
But the second haunt, Vault 13 Unearthed, is the one for grueheads. It's like a live-action version of a first-person shooter horror video game. Imagine actually walking through a level of Resident Evil or Doom. It's gory and disturbing. I spent a big portion of my time in The Rotting laughing at my daughter. When I had to walk through a Vault 13 hallway filled with bloody human heads on ropes I was genuinely creeped out. (You have to push your way through this and several other hallways full of body parts and and skinned corpses.) The effects are amazingly bloody and nightmarish, and the haunt includes both live actors and automated monsters that are reminiscent of the Zombots from
Frankenstein's Army. Vault 13 is worth the extra few dollars and definitely not for young children.
Speaking of, if you're going to take a kid younger than 14, The Rotting is the one for them, although I don't recommend taking a kid younger than 14 to either of them. (Netherworld says the minimum age is 5, but only take a kid that young if he's already exhibited signs of being a sociopath or you know he's got years of therapy ahead of him anyway.)
4) Be prepared for uncomfortable situations. That's the best way I can put it. Wear comfortable shoes, shorts and a T-shirt you don't mind getting wet and sweaty. It can be hot inside, especially when the line backs up, and some sections spray mists of water meant to simulate goo or blood. Some turns are very tight, and some halls can be claustrophobic. You don't need to run, but navigating swaying bridges, shaking floors and moving walls (including one section that's basically a Fat Man's Squeeze) will be a lot easier in comfortable clothes. If you can't take strobe lights, extremely low light and optical illusions, you should probably stay away.
Finally, if you go through Vault 13, you will get wet. The end of Vault 13 includes a foam room. You have the option of bypassing it, but if you've gone that far, don't be a wuss. Go through the foam room. Just know, it's not easy to go through. It starts with bright white flashing light and heavy smoke that transitions to the actual foam. The foam is thick, impossible to see through, and it can be hard to breathe with all the smoke from dry ice. All you can do is move forward and hope there's nothing waiting for you on the other side. (Mwahahahahahaha!)
5) It's worth it. Really, really worth it. $35 on busy nights (the price changes depending on the night of the week) and worth every penny. You're not going to get live-action horror entertainment of this quality anywhere else. And you can only watch so many horror movies and episodes of
The Walking Dead before you get the itch to ride the horror roller coaster yourself. Get up off your butt and go fight the monsters at Netherworld.
